The Final Experiment (Chapter 1)

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mizolo
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The Final Experiment (Chapter 1)

Post by mizolo » 15 Nov 2017, 15:27

The Final Experiment

Chapter 1: The Only Kindness
"I hate this, cold, metal cage." She thought. She didn't like the fact that they had somehow severed every single connection of thoughts from the hivemind from her. They tortured her, seeing how much pain she could endure, how much flame, torment, and even bullets, she could withstand. The only thing keeping her from escaping was the one who treated her with kindness and respect, though the other humans in the white-coats didn't like him, as they would shout at him, and at one point one hit him, drawing some sort of ... blood from him. She wanted to rip apart that human who hit him.


She heard him enter the room, the footsteps, the voice, the same him. He was the only one who brought her ... what was the word? ... peace, that's it. She was locked in very sturdy metal brackets, making it impossible to gnaw or otherwise destroy or break out of them. His footsteps toward her echoed slightly in her luxuriously annoying spacious cell. It was almost 20 feet high with about 50 x 30 feet of ground. It extended in a long stretch towards her from the glass, with a little stairway that led from the center observation to the floor from the door.


"Hello my sweet, i'm here to perform some experiments." He said as he walked through the door. She froze, but still stared at him. She was suddenly worried that he had changed his mind about saying HE would never hurt her. He said he could only control his actions, but not of his colleagues ... whatever that meant.


He looked at her. "No, no, no, it's not the kind you think, i'm just going to swab your mouth and check your size." She then relaxed, but only after a few seconds of realizing what he said, otherwise the white-coats behind the glass would think she understood language. That would very well make her life most likely even more miserable for certain.


He swabbed her mouth and pulled out a weird yellow stick with markings. She knew what it was called, he had said it before, what was it? Ah ha, it was a measuring ... something. She decided to drop the subject. He then measured her, something the white-coats did often. Maybe they were doing something by bringing him in with her. Maybe they wer-


She roared, knowing what the white-coats were doing. They were seeing her response to someone she "Liked", all the other times she hissed and snarled, but not this scientist. She knew she wasn't going to see the end of him, but the reason for it scared her.


The one she liked jumped a little, but did not move far like the others did, as if he trusted her. She was genuinely curious as to why he treated her so differently than the other white-coats. Then he continued working as normal. She didn't like where this was going with her not reacting to him the same way as the other white-coats.


He then exited the room, but she didn't react, as they would most definitely know if he was special to her.

__________________________________________________________________
The next thing that happened after a while, she didn't care to measure time anymore, as it would just depress her for how long she'd been in this cold, metal, cage; was that they put what looked like a smaller version of them in there, presumably a child. He looked young, had black hair, had a weird mark on his face. He also had some strange clothes on, not like the white-coats of the other humans. She was curious as he entered the room ... "Unarmed" She noted. The next thing that happened was shocking to her.


They un-locked her brackets and allowed her to move around the cell freely ... with the still child inside. This had never happened before, as they made absolutely sure they were out of her cell before un-locking her brackets. She wondered what game the white-coats were playing, and there was another human outside with a concerned expression on his face, or at least, that's what it looked like when she killed the first white-coat that mistakenly un-locked her brackets and got another white-coat in her prison killed because he locked the metal door, preventing his escape.


She walked slowly towards the child. He was screaming, in pure fear and terror. She was curious about why they had locked him in here, and then let her go. Instead of killing him, or nesting him so she could get an egg growing so it would get her another, she held him in place with her tail, pulling him up to examine him with her tail.


The white-coats watched rather intensely. The young human was crying now, rather than struggling, which was what most humans did, they struggled, but not this one. She felt something ... pity ... something she had never felt before. She let the boy down, only to turn and see the white-coats with their jaws wide open. The young human stopped, apparently checking if he was still alive, then looked up.


He said "Why did you spare me? You could have killed me or hugged me ... yet ... you didn't." She faced him for a moment, then turned away, going into the corner, resting. At that time the gas entered the room, and she fell asleep.












Let me know if you want this story to continue. Positive or constructive criticisms are appreciated.




Side note: I intend to make these as canon as possible. If you don't know why something is this way, why she can't talk, why she's so "Kind", this will be explained. As I said this is supposed to be as canon as possible.
Last edited by mizolo on 16 Nov 2017, 12:24, edited 2 times in total.
Anekcahap Volkov
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TehSpoderman
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Re: The Final Experiment (Chapter 1)

Post by TehSpoderman » 15 Nov 2017, 16:15

Im getting a fanfic sort of feel from this story. How did they manage to sever the hivemind from the xeno or will that be explained later?
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Re: The Final Experiment (Chapter 1)

Post by misterjoper » 15 Nov 2017, 16:19

Subscribed. I myself don't view aliens as cold-blooded monsters obsessed with killing and not capable of emotions, that's why I like dis (that's my just opinion). Kinda short, but it's understandable since you are not sure if it's worph continuing this story or not. +1
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Re: The Final Experiment (Chapter 1)

Post by Karmac » 15 Nov 2017, 16:35

I like, was a good read and I'm interested in seeing where you go with this.
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Re: The Final Experiment (Chapter 1)

Post by ghostdex » 15 Nov 2017, 16:38

It's interesting enough that I read through the whole thing. It felt kind of weird to read it through a queens view yet somewhat interesting
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Re: The Final Experiment (Chapter 1)

Post by mizolo » 15 Nov 2017, 17:03

TehSpoderman wrote:
15 Nov 2017, 16:15
Im getting a fanfic sort of feel from this story. How did they manage to sever the hivemind from the xeno or will that be explained later?
That will be explained later



As for the rest of you, thank you for the support on this. It took a LOT of editing and revising to fix grammar shit (Though it still probably needs some work).
I will come out with the next part soon.
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Re: The Final Experiment (Chapter 1)

Post by shyshadow » 15 Nov 2017, 17:47

Not a bad read.. But it definitely needs work. Also, don't Xenos like not breath? Or something? Not sure how KO Gas would work.
But yeah, it's kinda like reading a fan-fiction. No offense. There's not enough imagery in my opinion to help describe exactly what's going on. Also, the full CAPS make emphasising clunky and less professional. Try to find a way to emphasize words without going full caps. Makes the story better and more professional.
Anyway, keep it up. Keep it up and improve.
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mizolo
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Re: The Final Experiment (Chapter 1)

Post by mizolo » 15 Nov 2017, 18:24

shyshadow wrote:
15 Nov 2017, 17:47
Not a bad read.. But it definitely needs work. Also, don't Xenos like not breath? Or something? Not sure how KO Gas would work.
But yeah, it's kinda like reading a fan-fiction. No offense. There's not enough imagery in my opinion to help describe exactly what's going on. Also, the full CAPS make emphasising clunky and less professional. Try to find a way to emphasize words without going full caps. Makes the story better and more professional.
Anyway, keep it up. Keep it up and improve.
You see the KO gas in I THINK the AVP game where you do the xeno campaign.

Not enough imagery? Alright time to edit this shit to be like J.R.R Tolkien's scene writing.

Full caps will be fixed.
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