Ratar Vensch (Soft Strength)

Contains the details about white-listed characters.
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Sneakyr
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Ratar Vensch (Soft Strength)

Post by Sneakyr » 09 Oct 2017, 02:45

Byond ID: Sneakyranger

Marine Name (so we know who you are; if you play alien mostly, state that here): Frankie Day

Name of the character you want whitelisted (The name your predator will use. This must match your in-game predator name): Ratar Vensch (Soft Strength)

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor? Of course.

Character background (An ADEQUATE description and story of your predators background):

Introduction
► Show Spoiler
Act 1 & Prologue
► Show Spoiler
Act 2
► Show Spoiler
Act 3
► Show Spoiler
Epilogue
► Show Spoiler
How do you intend to play your predator (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your predator)?
Pyode's most pronounced trait is his pride, vanity, narcissism, etc. which will be how I get into the majority of my interesting situations. Before I get too far into how I plan for that to affect gameplay, I'd like to take the time to mention how I plan to deal with xenomorphs.
Mostly, for xenos, it'll be standard pred behavior. They'll be a critical part of my interaction with other predators and humans, but if I ever end up only interacting with xenos for a round I doubt I'll be able to work the nuances of Pyode's personality into the tacklespam that I'm sure to experience.
Moving on, here's an example scenario so you get an idea of how I plan Pyode's pride to influence his actions.
Let's say, for starters, that I'm hunting with another pred. That pred makes a particularly worthy kill or has an interesting fight and shares it with me. Depending on how the round's going, I'll either try to one up that kill with a more worthy one (not going after queens or anything like that, obviously), make an equally worthy kill, or most often I'll end up blustering on about one of my prior fights and spew a bit of bravado about how much better I am. I may even challenge them to a non-lethal sparring match or a hunting contest.
As far as humans go, most of my interactions with them are going to be making spooky noises and watching for any special individuals who seem willing to RP a bit. If I get someone who'll play along and won't just go for a cheeky UGL on me, I'll start showing off with some roars and weapon flourishes then go from there. If there are some particularly robust marines, I'll see about dueling them (I've watched enough preds to see how that goes, so I don't expect to be doing it too often) or trying to intimidate them, specifically.
I understand that having a personality where you one-up everybody can be a bit dangerous for round balance, but I know how to keep it fun for everyone involved who's willing to go a bit farther than “let's all chase the pred as it makes the self destruct noise/minds its own business” and how to make sure not to tilt the round unfairly.
Besides the pride, I'll do little things like make a little shrine in the lodge to Paya (I can't imagine even the most vain and self-absorbed Yautja try to compare themselves to their gods) and swap stories with my fellows. If I have any particularly interesting encounters, hostile or otherwise, I plan on adding relevant little minor character traits to further flesh him out as a sentient being rather than just a single-minded glory hunter.
I'm also willing to die in combat as long as it makes a good story, and I fully expect that to come about as a result of my personality. As long as the story's good, dying isn't much of a dealbreaker for me.
As I end this section, I'd like to make a little note about my fight scene. I didn't really put much effort into making it an interesting fight so much as I put that effort into representing that Pyode's main enemy is himself and his vanity.
IMPORTANT NOTE: I already have permission from Spartanbobby to use his clan name.

Why should we whitelist you?
I've behaved myself well for the time I've been here. I've been around since New Eden hosted (admittedly off and on until now) and apparently only have two notes, even since I started playing regularly back in December of last year. I get that simply following the rules isn't grounds for a privilege, but it can't hurt.
Besides that, I feel like I can make a few interesting stories happen. Even if the majority of pred encounters can't always have a happy ending for everyone, maybe I can make a few rounds special for myself and others.
I've also watched a few of the preds whenever they've been around and I get the chance (somehow, usually Reno) so I have a small idea of how the pred rounds go.
Outside of in-game stuff, I understand my forum posts are low, but that's just because I only post on the forums when I feel I have something to contribute, even though I'm almost always lurking. I'm more than willing to help out by commenting on any predator applicants should I be accepted. I'm also fairly active on discord, typically. Not so much recently as I've been a bit busy and a bit ill, but I'm finally getting back into the swing of things.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)?: No, nor have I ever been banned from CM.

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why? I am not currently banned from any other server.

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor? Of course.
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I'm Frankie Day, resident SL along with various other roles.

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Feweh
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by Feweh » 11 Oct 2017, 13:19

More feedback required.

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Enceri
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by Enceri » 12 Oct 2017, 01:27

Honestly, i've known Frankie for a long time, and I know he himself can hold RP, so I have no problem with giving him my full support on that. Onto his story, I personally found it really well written, it was certainly written differently compared to other apps i've seen. Doesn't change the fact that it's still really good.

I'm going to drop my +1 on this app, good luck Frankie.

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Sneakyr
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by Sneakyr » 12 Oct 2017, 11:45

Enceri wrote:
12 Oct 2017, 01:27
Snip
Thanks Adan. I really appreciate the support.
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spartanbobby
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by spartanbobby » 12 Oct 2017, 13:04

You're a good guy the apps really well done and I don't have much else to say aside from +1
!!! John 'Spartan' Murry Hulij thar'n !!!

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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by Mook476 » 12 Oct 2017, 13:33

Frankie Day now that's a name that rings bells. The story is well written and I've seen you role play quite well often. How you intend to play your predator was well shows a lot of detail and I love that. +1
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by Feweh » 12 Oct 2017, 15:50

Soft strength sounds like a fucking porno name.

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Sneakyr
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by Sneakyr » 12 Oct 2017, 16:42

Feweh wrote:
12 Oct 2017, 15:50
Soft strength sounds like a fucking porno name.
Thanks for making me laugh like a damn madman at that thought on a bus full of people, Feweh.

Besides that, much obliged for the feedback Mook & Bobby.
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by ghostdex » 12 Oct 2017, 18:40

I see you quite often in game, and I've always had a good experience with you around. The story is pretty good. Everything is good, you've got my full +1.
John 'Fixer' Donable
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by Kneez » 12 Oct 2017, 18:57

Good story, great character in game, and hes been around for ages. +1 Buddy
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Sneakyr
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by Sneakyr » 13 Oct 2017, 11:46

Much obliged for the feedback. I'm glad people seem to like the story.
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by t0l » 13 Oct 2017, 23:56

I haven't been here long, but as far as I can remember, Frankie Day has consistenly delivered high quality RP and it's always been fun to have him as SL or be big damn heroes with him. The story and character are both fleshed out and well-written, so I'll just leave my +1 here.
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by Nick123q23 » 15 Oct 2017, 00:38

I know sneaky, he's a pretty good guy who's been around here for ages. I think we can trust him with a predator whitelist, he's got support from me. +1
Player of faceless xenomorphs of the species XX121, Miranda 'Mira' Laporte, Daniel Gryphon, Kia and Akl'iiya Quatza-rij
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by TheMusician321 » 15 Oct 2017, 03:50

+1, I've played with him so many times before, he's pretty cool and a great role player.
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Sneakyr
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by Sneakyr » 15 Oct 2017, 18:47

Thanks for the posts, everybody. I always like getting more feedback on this app.
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by TehSpoderman » 15 Oct 2017, 19:23

I trust Frankie as a pred. Good player +1
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by Redikal V » 16 Oct 2017, 20:58

I know, Day is good player and good Squard Leader. I want see you as pred. +1.
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Sneakyr
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by Sneakyr » 16 Oct 2017, 21:36

Thanks for the posts, lads. Great to see some feedback, good or bad.
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by shyshadow » 17 Oct 2017, 02:01

I mean...the application isn't bad. I actually like it, it does what's it meant to be; However there are small things that get to me. While I don't like being critical of small things, they're things that bring attention to the lore behind predators. While you seem to have a pretty okay grasp of the lore, there are a few things in your app that contrast from my previous statement.
1. You refer to xenos as well, xenos. You go from calling them xenos to calling them serpents. Which is odd in my opinion, typically it'd be better to just call them serpents throughout the entire backstory.
2. Your clan sword is acid-proof, it shouldn't be. This is common shit man, literally IN the MOVIE AvP. Young-blood's shit ain't acid proof.
3. You don't remove the head off your game. Typically it'd make sense to just decapitate your kill to gain a trophy. I.E. a skull/head. While I believe this was part of your character's pride, it's a little stupid. I don't know how he'd manage to just lug a pretty heavy corpse around. Without it making ANY sort of noise due to pain. All the way back to the ship. Sounds a little sketchy.
4. Father's Relationship to your predator, it's odd how your predator's father is amazing and yet he still cares about who his children are? While there's a lot of debate, it's usually agreed that successful hunters will breed a lot. I mean...like I don't like bringing this up but I thought I'd just throw it in there. Just weird he only had 3 children when I would've believed that he'd have a lot of mating partners but go figure...

Onto the structure and stuff of your story. Your story is well-written, it flows well. But I feel like it's a cup half full. There's a lot less of what could have been, it's pretty bare-bones. It's written pretty well. I feel like it could've had more than what you have offered. It's pretty short, and while it does give a pretty good grasp on your predator's personality. I feel as if you could've fleshed out your character a lot more. Though I'm pretty sure if you're accepted you could.

I like your reasoning to be whitelisted, but your intention on hunting is okay...you want to be a pretty standard predator. And that's fine, nothing wrong with it. Your backstory though, ehhh. It doesn't 100% entice me to believe you can be a standard predator. I'm sure you can..

Anyway, that's my two cents. I think this application could've been better than what it is right now, like obviously better not like. "Oh anything can be better" kind of better. Anyway, for the sake of being a nice guy I'll give a *Breaths in* +1

Alright. I'm done here. Where the fuck is the ice-cream? You mean you didn't put ICECREAM IN YOUR PRED APP!? -111111111111111111
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by GoliathTheDespoiler » 17 Oct 2017, 03:12

I've got to say, Sneakyr, that I find this a really great example of an application. You have a very defined story arc with major emphasis on your character's (admittedly 1 dimensional) traits. I would've liked maybe a bit of quick interaction with perhaps one of his brothers, or maybe an event where he shows something other than an ego the size of a Crusher.

Speaking of pride, I think this is a really unique concept for a predator, it's common to expect a honourable warrior to be humbled, perhaps respectful, when combatting a strong or equal adversary. Not fuckin' Pyode. Pyode doesn't give a shit if you're god or a gretchin, because he believes he'd be better than you regardless. I think this will lead to some really interesting situations in multi-pred rounds.

As for your playstyle, I commend you keeping the actual combat tactic vague and focusing more on how you'll treat prey, predators, and other such things. I like how you say you'd gladly die in combat for the sake of the round and story, and I always love it when a Pred decides to make 'spooky noises' at the marines.

As a player on CM, I've met you a good plenty of times, worked with you, RPed with you, even fuckin' bullied you as Queen. I believe you definitely have what it takes to be a predator.

+1 from R'ka.
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by Sneakyr » 17 Oct 2017, 17:50

Thanks for the feedback, Goliath, Redikal & Shy, and I feel like that it's helpful for the app besides the much-appreciated support in the way that I can address your issues with the app.
For one, I spent a lot of time on the story, mostly cutting out bits that wouldn't fit into the flow. It probably would have made it a lot better if I had fit in an interaction between Pyode and his brother or something like that, but I wasn't ready to compromise the story's flow in order to do that. Whether it would've been worth it is up to opinion.
On shyshadow's list of small things, as he calls it, I only have good answers for a few of them:

1. I had a spot of trouble with this one. I wanted to keep the writing tone in line with what you'd expect from a pred story but my main problem was that saying "serpent" or "R'ka" stagnates quickly, and even adding creature or monster only helped so many times as I had to make sure that the reader knew that it was still THE alien (and I can't call one of the parties in a battle between two aliens an alien). I resorted to using xenomorph to keep the writing from getting stale.

2. Yeah, this is my bad. I went against my better judgement (from all other sources young blood gear is not acid proof) and trusted the AvP wiki saying that it was.

3. This was probably a fault of mine as I didn't specify what antechamber the creature was being dragged to (it was the antechamber of the temple). He didn't actually drag it that far or even intend to keep the whole corpse as a trophy - he wanted his fellow Yautja to see that he had killed a creature fairly effortlessly and could even keep it alive to show them as a display of superiority, and as Pyode didn't get too far into the halls before the creature found him it would have been a simple matter to just drag it back through the door without having to pick it up.

4. Setg'in's first litter included Pyode, but it wasn't his last. The only reason Pyode even registers with Setg'in is because he was one of the first three and it surprised him that the runt got even this far.
The relationship between the two isn't exactly great, either - Setg'in recognizes that his son is arrogant and too busy trying to follow in his footsteps to forge his own path and therefore is dismissive of him, while Pyode thinks that his father is the reason he has to prove himself at all.
Setg'in only met with Pyode since he's one of the leaders of Pyode's clan and it was custom for a bit of formality (the meeting between the newly-Blooded and the Clan Leader). Even the hunter species needs a bit of bookkeeping now and then.
Most of this was supposed to be a read-between-the-lines kind of thing, but I don't really think I gave enough evidence for it to work since I already knew what I had in mind as a writer and couldn't read it from an outside perspective.

Either way, to close this wall of text, I appreciate the feedback and I'm glad that you both liked the application enough to support me regardless of its flaws.
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by northcote4 » 26 Oct 2017, 02:33

Ah, Frankie Day. It’s been a while since he’s lead my squad, but it was never a bad time.
Right off the bat I’m seeing some things that I like. Your predator has pronounced, negative traits; the effort that you’ve put into this app is clear as day; and although a tiny thing, it’s nice to see that you got approval from Bobby to use the clan name.

In regards to the story, I must say that I like it on the whole. Admittedly I’ve always had a soft spot for the sins of pride and vanity, but on the whole I very much enjoyed the tale. There are a few minor issues that were covered by the other responders (such as the matter of acid-resistance), but I certainly don’t believe these were to the scale of wilful ignorance by any means. You’ve done your research, it’s just that, unfortunately, sometimes the information we all get is a bit inaccurate.

The personality and playing method you’ve described has the potential to be quite abrasive with the other predators, but I don’t believe this is at all a bad thing. I do always love to see a bit of spice in the inter-yautja roleplay.

On the whole I’m very much fond of this app. And from what I’ve seen of you both in-game and out I’m absolutely willing to throw in my vote to help see you along. +1.
The story of Edgardo and A Guy Named Squid. Good read. Greentext ahoy. - https://1d4chan.org/wiki/The_Ballad_of_Edgardo

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Sneakyr
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by Sneakyr » 26 Oct 2017, 19:06

I appreciate it, North. Glad to see you like the story, too - I've had this one in the workshop for a while, like you said.
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by JKincaid » 28 Oct 2017, 12:41

I've seen you around for the longest of times and I know you can do a great job as a pred. Your app is great, the name makes me laugh a bit but it's a spessman game.

I think you could do quite well as a pred if given the chance. +1
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Re: Pyode Thar'n-Dha (Soft Strength)

Post by TehSpoderman » 28 Oct 2017, 13:08

I keep thinking your name is Pyoder...
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