Adralimas Synthetic Application! - Joe

I can't lie to you about your chances, but you have my sympathies.
Forum rules
  • Anyone may "vote" on an application by writing a +1 or -1, but you must also give a reason. The votes are not technically counted, but they may provide useful insight that Head Staff will use to judge an application.
  • Head Staff reserve the right to deny any application if we feel an applicant has had too many bans, negative notes, or other problems to deserve being whitelisted.
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adralimas
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Adralimas Synthetic Application! - Joe

Post by adralimas » 08 Feb 2018, 22:00

Byond ID: Adralimas

Marine Name (so we know who you are; if you play alien mostly, state that here): Joe "Broccoli" Campbell

Name/Designation of the Synth Character you’re requesting to use (Follows common naming rules, and requires a first name with no last name):
Examples of acceptable names: James, Mason, Xavier, Felix, Otto, Allan, Jessica
Examples of unacceptable names: Obama, Jesus, King, Dragon, Godly, Snyper, Circuits

Are you familiar with the Synthetic Programming and Guidelines (viewtopic.php?f=57&t=14417)? Yep! Quite Familiar!

Synthetic Character Story (An ADEQUATE description and story of your Synthetics actions and involvement in a previous mission onboard the Almayer): I'm no good story writer but here goes!
► Show Spoiler
How do you intend to play your Synth (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your Synth and what support roles you’ll mainly focus on, what is your synthetics quirk)? I intend to play my synthetic a bit more flavorful than most, Adding in the odd quirk to speech like suddenly speaking AT FULL VOLUME or just jumbling the words up, Having the occasional entirely harmless malfunction. Doing everything for the sake of roleplaying with no intention to disrupt from how most other synth's play mechanics wise, I'll still do my job the best i can and follow all orders to the end. I intend to be competent but also focus on making things as interesting as i can, I have NO INTENTION of ever disrupting the round as a synthetic unless given permission to do so, I will always follow the guidelines to the end.

How familiar are you with support roles? (ie; Medical, MT, Science, SO) I play almost literally every role and have a good understanding in prettymuch how everything mechanically works CM Wise, Medical being my specialty.

Why should we whitelist you? I'de like to think i could be a great asset in terms of keeping a round stable and going since i'm on late and as a synth i'll beable to hop between department's to ensure everything is running as smoothly as possible for the marines, Jumping to fix power when there's no CE or MT, Flying the ship with no PO's, Conducting surgery with no Doctors, Being where i'm most useful.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)? Nope!, Here's my player notes too!
► Show Spoiler
Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why? Nope, I'm a good boy.

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or the Synthetic Programming Guideline? As current staff i would hope i understood this.

P.S: Here's a look at Joe https://gyazo.com/85a295921b5b54d73ddfa87485f6aa8f Also if the name Joe is unacceptable i can also change it, I've got a secondary name lined up just incase. Also any input is more than welcome!
Joe 'Broccoli' Campbell: SOMEONE STOLE THE MEGAPHONE AGAIN!
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Whiteflicker
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Re: Adralimas Synthetic Application! - Joe

Post by Whiteflicker » 09 Feb 2018, 08:20

A tip for the writing of your character story.

Its jarring to read a giant wall of text. Put spaces between the paragraphs, and, especially, the computerized messages. Makes it easier on the eyes. I'd also advise you space out the conversation between Chubs and Jester, to make them easier to spot and read through more seamlessly.

SPACING, YO. IMPORTANT. Makes it nice and tidy.

The story itself is an amusing read, but Its not necessarily realistic. Given the fact they apparently stole 50.000 dollars from the Liason's account and bought a Working Joe with it. But hey, aside from that, its good; for a beginner!

Aside from that, i like it. I've been wanting to see the Working Joe on the Almayer for a while now, and someone's playing it finally! Someone competent, to boot.

I'll support it!
The girl with the face. Anna "Peppered" Costello.

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Re: Adralimas Synthetic Application! - Joe

Post by Wubs4Scrubs » 09 Feb 2018, 08:55

Man that story was hard to get through, as Whiteflicker said having a giant wall of text is both jarring to the reader and difficult to navigate. When you have multiple people talking with no formatting any paragraph becomes confusing. Beyond the formatting, I felt that your story was short and describing it as an 'adequate' portrayal of your synths interaction with the crew is a stretch. Something I like to see from synthetic stories is the synth interacting with the crew as it helps show how the applicant will use their quirk in game, along with how they intend to speak and interact. In addition to being short, your story contains little to no actual dialogue or interactions featuring your synth, or in other words the point of having the backstory.

I really like your quirk however, A SYNTH SUDDENLY TYPING LIKE THIS, is honestly a great idea. Having a quirk that reminds the crew that the synth isn't entirely human is perfect. I'm actually sad that your story didn't feature more of your synthetic considering the great potential that the quirk has for hilarious interactions. The first thing that popped into my head was the synth going into the extended bunks and quietly informing a Lieutenant of some important information only to suddenly SHOUT IT OUT LOUD and wake up the other officers.

I have seen you around the server and your character is one that I like having around so I have no concerns that you're a shitter or anything (also you're a mod so).

In summary I'm going to hold off on giving a rating. While I like your quirk and I think you're a capable player the other areas of your application I personally felt were lower effort than I'd like to see for the whitelist.
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Re: Adralimas Synthetic Application! - Joe

Post by Lukey111 » 09 Feb 2018, 09:08

I do like how much effort you put in, I have a few questions I can't found out right now...

1. Are you whitelisted as CO already?
2. How often do you play the other roles? I mainly only remember Broccoli as a marine, maybe SO? I don't know, just don't know.

Neutral, as I have seen you only in marine roles... and you forgot to put "Joe" in the Character name spot... but mainly unsure of your exact playing time of support roles.

- CE Williams
"I'm in engineering most of the time, I like leading the nerds" - Monday 'Scatter' Williams

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Re: Adralimas Synthetic Application! - Joe

Post by Whiteflicker » 09 Feb 2018, 09:27

Wubs4Scrubs wrote:
09 Feb 2018, 08:55
Man that story was hard to get through, as Whiteflicker said having a giant wall of text is both jarring to the reader and difficult to navigate. When you have multiple people talking with no formatting any paragraph becomes confusing. Beyond the formatting, I felt that your story was short and describing it as an 'adequate' portrayal of your synths interaction with the crew is a stretch. Something I like to see from synthetic stories is the synth interacting with the crew as it helps show how the applicant will use their quirk in game, along with how they intend to speak and interact. In addition to being short, your story contains little to no actual dialogue or interactions featuring your synth, or in other words the point of having the backstory.

I really like your quirk however, A SYNTH SUDDENLY TYPING LIKE THIS, is honestly a great idea. Having a quirk that reminds the crew that the synth isn't entirely human is perfect. I'm actually sad that your story didn't feature more of your synthetic considering the great potential that the quirk has for hilarious interactions. The first thing that popped into my head was the synth going into the extended bunks and quietly informing a Lieutenant of some important information only to suddenly SHOUT IT OUT LOUD and wake up the other officers.

I have seen you around the server and your character is one that I like having around so I have no concerns that you're a shitter or anything (also you're a mod so).

In summary I'm going to hold off on giving a rating. While I like your quirk and I think you're a capable player the other areas of your application I personally felt were lower effort than I'd like to see for the whitelist.
This.

While i do definitely support you because i have faith in you being a good player, roleplayer, and have a fun character concept; the backstory needs some love.
I felt as if i was reading through a Monty Pyton script.

Which, while not necessarily terrible, is beside the point of having a backstory of your synth, who you're supposed to show, represent, and give an example of, so that we can gauge your value as a character in the game, and give YOU a proper groundwork to play properly as a synth of your type.

I'd suggest you try again. With proper formatting, and a proper story of origin, and interaction with the crew.

By the way, unless your 'Joe' is modified somehow, they will be a very basic character. Working Joes don't have much of a personality, like the more advanced W-Y models. They all have the same AI package.
The girl with the face. Anna "Peppered" Costello.

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Re: Adralimas Synthetic Application! - Joe

Post by adralimas » 09 Feb 2018, 12:32

Thanks for the input sofar!, And this is mostly just a random shot at the dark, If this application is denied i'll definitely work more on fleshing out the backstory some more! And it's actually kinda nice to be even partially related to monty python.
As for the commander application?, Naww i don't have one. I've played XO And SO Before but never bothered applying for the whitelist, i just used commander in the back story because i didn't really have any idea what else to use at the time.
And for my activity on other roles you'll generally see me focused around the medical area for the most part but i've got occasional appearances in prettymuch everywhere on and off the ship, Most common other appearance would be planetside as a marine of some kind. Thanks again and please do keep that input coming!
Joe 'Broccoli' Campbell: SOMEONE STOLE THE MEGAPHONE AGAIN!
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