Weyland-Yutani Dossier - Edmund Faust

Post your character background information.
Post Reply
User avatar
Bobalobdob
Registered user
Posts: 31
Joined: 06 Sep 2017, 02:49
Location: Somewhere in Washington
Byond: bobalobdob
Steam: Bobalobdob
Contact:

Weyland-Yutani Dossier - Edmund Faust

Post by Bobalobdob » 28 Sep 2017, 00:12

WEYLAND-YUTANI PERSONNEL DOSSIER
Edmund Faust

Loaned to: USCM

Reviewed by: Harold Lester, Agent Bill Fischbach
Year of Birth: 2153
Country of Citizenship: Germany

Relatives -------------------------------
Hida Brunschwift - Mother
Friedrich Faust - Father
No Known Siblings
End ----------------------------------------

Known Occupations --------------
Intern at Weyland-Yutani consumer information center Hamburg.
Bartender at Das Brut Pub and Bakery
Enlisted soldier of the USCM
Officer of the USCM


Description of Appearance----
Brown Eyes
Brown hair, cut
Brown selleck-styled moustache
5 feet 9 inches------------------------

Life------------------------------------------

Early childhood: irrelevant, nothing of note

Young adult: Edmund seems have been a troublemaker of sorts in his mid to late teens [15-19]. High School was a hard time. Although his test scores and extracurricular records indicate he has an above average intelligence, he did fail several courses and did extra programs to pull ahead and eventually graduate. He has demonstrated exceptional knowledge in the computer science field and strength in multiple simulations centered around teamwork and tactical situations.

Adulthood - Pre enlistment:
Edmund had trouble holding down a job, despite knowing he was going to enlist from the time he flunked his first literature course in high school. Fast forward to his year of graduation, after the ceremonies he was approached by a Weyland-Yutani recruiting agent by the name of Mark Erwin III and offered a job as an intern at the local branch, that was sure to grow into a full time job by the end of the year. Edmund quickly agreed as the internship was paid and he needed a job since he had never been employed before then. The job was a train-wreck to say the least. The details aren't important, but Edmund was often found messing with the IT guy's equipment and software, doing things such as changing the entire office's passwords to ASSBLASTUSA, and putting a rival's office supplies in bowls of gelatin. After being fired, he was jobless for a time no less than three months, after which he found work at Das Brut, a local pub slash bakery that recently opened. Nothing of note happened at this new job besides his resigning not five months later.

this project is a work in progress. Details may be added, changed, or removed at any time.
Last edited by Bobalobdob on 26 Feb 2018, 03:13, edited 8 times in total.
"Stay together, stay alive!" -Edmund 'Jerry' Faust

Member of the Church of F0un

User avatar
Bobalobdob
Registered user
Posts: 31
Joined: 06 Sep 2017, 02:49
Location: Somewhere in Washington
Byond: bobalobdob
Steam: Bobalobdob
Contact:

Re: Weyland-Yutani D.A.S #158 - Edmund Faust

Post by Bobalobdob » 28 Sep 2017, 18:28

Any feedback would be bueno, negative, positive, or constructive, it all helps
"Stay together, stay alive!" -Edmund 'Jerry' Faust

Member of the Church of F0un

User avatar
James5734
Registered user
Posts: 165
Joined: 23 Jan 2017, 17:13
Byond: james5734

Re: Weyland-Yutani D.A.S #158 - Edmund Faust

Post by James5734 » 29 Sep 2017, 08:17

Bit snowflakey.... really snowflakey.... "byond" all comprehension of snowflakey...
"And your name is badluck, lol"- runner who captured me after I spawned behind the hive

User avatar
Bobalobdob
Registered user
Posts: 31
Joined: 06 Sep 2017, 02:49
Location: Somewhere in Washington
Byond: bobalobdob
Steam: Bobalobdob
Contact:

Re: Weyland-Yutani D.A.S #158 - Edmund Faust

Post by Bobalobdob » 29 Sep 2017, 12:47

James5734 wrote:
29 Sep 2017, 08:17
Bit snowflakey.... really snowflakey.... "byond" all comprehension of snowflakey...
That is the goal. Being the most snowflakey while at the same time, at least making it semi-enjoyable. Its moatly a creative writing exercise for myself, seeing that I'm a terrible writer.
"Stay together, stay alive!" -Edmund 'Jerry' Faust

Member of the Church of F0un

User avatar
Bobalobdob
Registered user
Posts: 31
Joined: 06 Sep 2017, 02:49
Location: Somewhere in Washington
Byond: bobalobdob
Steam: Bobalobdob
Contact:

Re: Weyland-Yutani D.A.S #158 - Edmund Faust

Post by Bobalobdob » 27 Oct 2017, 02:41

My shitty dossier was updated :D
"Stay together, stay alive!" -Edmund 'Jerry' Faust

Member of the Church of F0un

User avatar
TehSpoderman
Registered user
Posts: 922
Joined: 05 Feb 2017, 22:10
Byond: TehSpoderman

Re: Weyland-Yutani D.A.S #158 - Edmund Faust

Post by TehSpoderman » 24 Nov 2017, 19:59

i never seen someone so frosty in my life.
Duke 'Oddshot' Stroh - The Bamboozler
Mentor: June 5th - September 1st
Check out my mapping dumping grounds: http://www.colonial-marines.com/viewtop ... 14&t=14204 . It's where people share their mapping projects and ask for feedback. Check it out pls <3

User avatar
solidfury7
Mentor
Mentor
Posts: 437
Joined: 28 Jul 2016, 20:54

Re: Weyland-Yutani D.A.S #158 - Edmund Faust

Post by solidfury7 » 24 Nov 2017, 21:06

I'm not going to lie. This was a dissapointment.

The title made me expect a serious dossier, not an acid goop tier thread.

Not to mention that none of this would be deemed canon at all.

I personally say you start from scratch. Your writing style could be interesting but this is painfully snowflakey. And not in a good way, chum.

Best of luck.
Character
William 'Jester' Crimson
Roles
Commander
Squad Leader
Bridge Officer
Medic

User avatar
Bobalobdob
Registered user
Posts: 31
Joined: 06 Sep 2017, 02:49
Location: Somewhere in Washington
Byond: bobalobdob
Steam: Bobalobdob
Contact:

Re: Weyland-Yutani D.A.S #158 - Edmund Faust

Post by Bobalobdob » 26 Dec 2017, 03:03

solidfury7 wrote:
24 Nov 2017, 21:06
painfully snowflakey.
I agree :^)
"Stay together, stay alive!" -Edmund 'Jerry' Faust

Member of the Church of F0un

User avatar
Bobalobdob
Registered user
Posts: 31
Joined: 06 Sep 2017, 02:49
Location: Somewhere in Washington
Byond: bobalobdob
Steam: Bobalobdob
Contact:

Re: Weyland-Yutani Dossier - Edmund Faust

Post by Bobalobdob » 26 Feb 2018, 03:03

Aaaaaaaaa about to edit aaaaaaaahhhh
"Stay together, stay alive!" -Edmund 'Jerry' Faust

Member of the Church of F0un

User avatar
Bobalobdob
Registered user
Posts: 31
Joined: 06 Sep 2017, 02:49
Location: Somewhere in Washington
Byond: bobalobdob
Steam: Bobalobdob
Contact:

Re: Weyland-Yutani Dossier - Edmund Faust

Post by Bobalobdob » 26 Feb 2018, 03:13

Edited. Added pre-enlistment adult life stuff
"Stay together, stay alive!" -Edmund 'Jerry' Faust

Member of the Church of F0un

User avatar
Torrentia
Registered user
Posts: 27
Joined: 21 Dec 2017, 13:47
Byond: Torrentia

Re: Weyland-Yutani Dossier - Edmund Faust

Post by Torrentia » 26 Feb 2018, 04:07

Hey I think you are off to a good start but I have a few questions that I think you should ask yourself when building this to make your character fit in the Aliens universe:

What is highschool like in the 2160s? Can only the wealthy elite attend? Are there public schools? Is it just a recruitment service for the USCM or W-Y?

How does W-Y recruit from a young age? What qualifies a candidate? I assume the world is very densely populated in 150 years, so what makes your character stand out for this internship?

It sounds like you're a writing a character for a modern-day setting. Try to tailor it to fit the world of Aliens. No need to focus on little details such as his office pranks, focus on WHAT things are happening to him, ie "Edmund disappointed W-Y recruiters by underpreforming at his new job, which eventually led to his termination. He did not realize at the time how lucky he was to catch the attention of the Company without having familial connections."
Image

User avatar
Bobalobdob
Registered user
Posts: 31
Joined: 06 Sep 2017, 02:49
Location: Somewhere in Washington
Byond: bobalobdob
Steam: Bobalobdob
Contact:

Re: Weyland-Yutani Dossier - Edmund Faust

Post by Bobalobdob » 26 Feb 2018, 04:13

Torrentia wrote:
26 Feb 2018, 04:07
Hey I think you are off to a good start but I have a few questions that I think you should ask yourself when building this to make your character fit in the Aliens universe:

What is highschool like in the 2160s? Can only the wealthy elite attend? Are there public schools? Is it just a recruitment service for the USCM or W-Y?

How does W-Y recruit from a young age? What qualifies a candidate? I assume the world is very densely populated in 150 years, so what makes your character stand out for this internship?

It sounds like you're a writing a character for a modern-day setting. Try to tailor it to fit the world of Aliens. No need to focus on little details such as his office pranks, focus on WHAT things are happening to him, ie "Edmund disappointed W-Y recruiters by underpreforming at his new job, which eventually led to his termination. He did not realize at the time how lucky he was to catch the attention of the Company without having familial connections."
Thank you for the criticism, I will take this into mind. :) I'll probably read up on my Alien lore some more to improve on the areas you suggested. Thanks again
"Stay together, stay alive!" -Edmund 'Jerry' Faust

Member of the Church of F0un

Post Reply